💫 When Help Isn’t Helping: The Truth About Performative Empowerment

There’s a special kind of irony in offering free help and being met with, “Can you donate instead?”

This week, I reached out to an organization that claims to support women in transition — women rebuilding after hardship, loss, and adversity. I offered to donate free copies of my book From Rock Bottom to Rich Energy — a book that was born out of my own story of hitting rock bottom and finding the courage to rise again.

It wasn’t a sales pitch. It was a heartfelt act of service. A genuine desire to give women a tangible tool to help them remember who they are and get back on their feet.

Their response? They weren’t interested in the books but, if I’d like to make a financial donation from my book sales, that “would be great.”

And that right there told me everything I needed to know.

Some organizations aren’t in the business of empowerment — they’re in the business of funding the image of empowerment. They love the idea of helping women until real women show up offering truth, wisdom, and lived experience that doesn’t fit neatly into a grant proposal.

They’ll post hashtags about sisterhood, host panels about healing, and take photos with motivational quotes — but when someone offers authentic healing tools, they turn it down because there’s no profit attached.

That’s not empowerment.That’s performance and it's actually kind of sad.

I’m not here to feed systems that thrive on appearance. I’m here to pour into actual women — the ones who are rebuilding quietly, crying in silence, finding their courage, and taking that first step toward a better life.

I wasn’t offended by the rejection. I was enlightened by it.

It reminded me that not everyone’s “mission” aligns with your purpose. 

Sometimes, the spaces that look official — the ones with the glossy websites and polished taglines — are the least connected to real transformation. And sometimes, the woman in the trenches, the one who’s been through the fire and still found a way to rebuild, she’s the one actually doing the work. **cough cough, ME

So here’s what I’ll say to anyone building something from the heart: Keep offering your light. The right people will recognize its warmth. Don’t dim it for gatekeepers who can’t see past their own budgets.

Honestly, help isn’t helping when it’s transactional. Love, truth, and shared humanity is the kind of energy that actually changes lives. That's what I'm here for and I'm proud of myself.

#FromRockBottomToRichEnergy 💫 #RichEnergyMoves #SurvivingTheHive #WhenHelpIsntHelping #WomenRebuilding #AuthenticEmpowerment #PerformativeAllyship #WomenSupportingWomen #WomenEmpowerment #NonProfit